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Deviant for 10 Years
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the e
United States
Current Residence: Virginia
Favourite genre of music: all kinds
Operating System: Windows (hangs head in shame)
MP3 player of choice: Winamp
Favourite cartoon character: Scooby Doo. Indeed.
Personal Quote: I respect my body. My body could kick my ass if it wanted.
  • Listening to: New Order - "Primitive Notion"
  • Reading: A Game of Thrones (George R. R. Martin)
  • Watching: Strawberry Panic (it's a guilty pleasure)
  • Playing: Lego Star Wars II (yee!)
  • Eating: dust
  • Drinking: water

Where to start.

I had a dream last night where I was visiting my grandparents, and my grandad died very early in the morning, or else doing the night. I took my daughter to bed and then lifted my mourning grandmother, who weighed about the same. I set her on her bed and just held her.

No one else in the family had heard yet and kept asking when grandad was going to get up. And every time they asked, I cried.

It's not a dream that was out of no where. I actually leave in a few hours to visit him in Bountiful, Utah. I don't expect him to last to see May, and almost certainly not June. I'm fully prepared to go to a funeral while I'm out there this week if it comes to that. It's been hard. Here I am at 33 and I've never dealt with the death of anything more significant than a guinea pig (though let me tell you, i cried for that, dammit). I havent been sure how to feel. But when I pray about him, I feel like breaking down and crying.

Grandad has lived a long life. He learned Chinese to aid in intelligence during World War II -- and he was in Hawaii when Pearl Harbor was attacked. He's raised 7 children, and has something on the order of 25 grandchildren and at least a dozen great-grandchildren.  He's nearly 90 now. He's been a good, church-going man and has been a solid rolemodel for me.

What is it? Does this make me even more adult? Now I know one more thing to write about? I can now speak intelligently to the subject of grief? Is that what this is good for? Should I just break down and let it all out? I don't know.

Anyway, there's other stuff I was goign to mention, but I don't feel like it now.

Sorry I've been so long without a deviation. I have tons of pics in my camera, I just haven't gotten to it. Since I'll be out of town for a week, don't expect any before then. Peace.


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EclairDuVerite Featured By Owner May 22, 2011
thankyou for the faves! :huggle: ^^
AndieCris Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2010  Hobbyist Traditional Artist
Thank you for :+fav: :iconcocoloveplz:
kleinerewoelfin Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2008
Where are you, hun? Miss you.
animesarah20 Featured By Owner Feb 20, 2008
Thanks for the visit!
KenJKitsune Featured By Owner Jan 28, 2008
Thanks for the fav!
DormantFairytales Featured By Owner Aug 14, 2007
thank you for the fav ^^
SigurdHosenfeld Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2007
Thank you very much for all the :+fav:'s , I really appreciate them! :D

Kedishi-San Featured By Owner Aug 3, 2007  Hobbyist Digital Artist
Thanks for the :+fav: dude...

Your support is much appreciated =D
Usagi-Rukia Featured By Owner Apr 6, 2007
Thanks so much for the favs! :boogie:
curiousgenius Featured By Owner Mar 28, 2007
Thankee thankee!!~

I feel so special when watched...or stalked....o.o

Just...kidding, anywho, I'm glad you like my art, it's always nice to know, post suggestions of people or scenes you would like to see on ^.^
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